Black Girls Rock

First of all, let me say thank you to the genius that is Beverly Bond. Beverly has put her genius behind starting a movement that will let girls and women like me know that their brown skin does not serve as prison bars, but as a source of liberation and celebration. She has done something that will shine light on the scars we possess and show us their beauty. For that, I am forever grateful.

As I watched the show for the third time and marveled at how far we’ve come; As I witnessed like I was on the mother’s board at church when Ameena Matthews was on stage and wanted to kick off my shoes when my fairy godmother Patti LaBelle sang “You Are My Friend/What A Friend We Have In Jesus”, a faint feeling of sadness overtook me. I was proud to be able to share some of the same experiences as the women on that stage, but I was also reminded of the times that even I, as a Black Girl, failed to rock. I will admit that there have been times where I have not been feeling my best and  most beautiful and struggled to hold in a compliment to my sistas. There were times in my distant past where I would even go so far as to insult my sistas and instead of giving them a hand up, I would dig my stiletto so deeply into her neck that I could hear their souls scream. I didn’t care about how much my words would hurt them. All I cared about was making myself look and feel better. But at the end of those mean girl moments, when I looked around, there was no one to celebrate me. In the end, I was still just as chubby. My bank account was just as low and my head hung down just as far as before I put the next woman down.

Women in general in our society have this unspoken war going on, but I find that it my sistas are more brutal in their competition. We have bigger blinders than most women of other races and fail to see that no matter how much we compete, no one wins. When we walk around with the “I’ll take your man” mentality, we create the broken homes and birth the fatherless children that show up in the statistics. When we adopt the “Who does she think she is” type of thinking, we take away the boost in confidence that another Black queen needs so that she will have the courage to put on her crown that day. When we stick to "Stay away from her. She's crazy", we make it more difficult for the next queen to ask for help with dealing with her inner demons. When we don’t stand together and abide by the “She don’t know me and I don’t know her” ideal, we limit our own knowledge of ourselves. It is so simple to overlook the fact that a simple “Good morning”, “How are you”, “Can I help you”, “I love those shoes”, “You look really nice today” , “I’m proud of you” or “Can I help you” can have a profound effect on someone’s day. It is my belief that the reason we remain unhappy, uneducated and unsuccessful is that we are not ceasing those tiny opportunities to invest in ourselves. Aside from the negative light, we have become invisible to one another. We look at these beautiful reflections of ourselves and instead of seeing them as vehicles for success, we see them as scrap metal. We pick apart each curve and look underneath every layer for flaws when, in fact, there may be none. We need to look within ourselves and seek to right the wrongs we have been doing to each other for years. We need to support and celebrate one another.

It is then, Black Girls, that we will truly ROCK.

TK